Anyway I Can, I'll Stay.

Wrote this song yesterday, and as always, I'd rather sing it than type out lyrics but here I go anyway seeing as I don't have any choice in that matter for the time being.

Stay Anyway

(K. Eryn H.)

When we woke up this morning, you said that you forgive me

But there's no telling at all if you believe me

Or if it's just habit to stay

I know nothing about a sweet surrender

There's just nothing sweet about knowing

What you want and what you need are always two different things

And it's bittersweet to stay

It's bittersweet to stay when all the choices are already made

So still my heart, it's beating may give me away

There is nothing to be done about it

Knowing nothing can be done about it

I'm asking just to stay anyway

And it's hard saying "never" and "forever"

Knowing no return, my lungs are ever bruising from this heavy breathing

Keeping two should be relieving

Oh, stupid heart, you never did know what was good for you

And it's bittersweet to stay

It's bittersweet to stay when all the choices are already made

So still my heart, it's beating may give me away

There is nothing to be done about it

Knowing nothing can be done about it

I'm asking just to stay anyway

Anyway I can, I'll stay...

There is a right way for me to pursue music. I know there is. So why does it have to be so damn evasive. Every time I think I've figured it out, it just goes and blows up in my face and there I am starting from scratch again. I will figure it out. It's just a matter of how many times I can get it wrong before that happens.... 

Do I want to be the mother that's always saying goodbye to her beautiful son? - No!

Do I want to be the singer/songwriter who gives up on her dreams? - No!

The problem being, I have an innate yearning to be everything for everyone, including myself - high standards, perfectionism, and all that- and yet I usually end up feeling more like a failure because of it. I am a musician. It flows in my blood. And I will find happiness through it all.....

....it's such a fine line between the truth and a lie.... (to quote myself)

Sorry for being such a babbler. Maybe what I need is a diary-not a blog...lol. I've never been one for diaries though...such a typical girl thing to take part in...not my style. So blog it is! And I can continue to drag all you fine people through the mud with me every step of the way...ha ha. But just think, the success will be that much sweeter because of it.... (right?)